I learned a very valuable lesson tonight: my email's sent box is an unexpected minefield of broken hearts and unanswered prayers. Without thinking, I wandered into the sent box of my personal mail and found a couple hundred emails I had completely forgotten I'd once written. Some more difficult to read over than others. Let's just say, I'm recovering from the ache in my chest as we speak.
As prepared as we can be for life's unexpected heart breaks, there are no preparations. Things come at you and you're not able to stop them. I feel as though this is a lesson I am continually learning over and over. After each let down or painful experience, I expect to pop out on the other side a completely different person; a girl who understands the world better than before, who can handle whatever life has to throw next. In reality, that feeling only lasts until the next gut-wrenching newsbreak hits and I'm back to square 1, wondering where all my "lessons learned" and wise knowledge-based-on-experience went.
Maybe the better option should be to just forgive and forget, if only I could get to that point. Is there a way to forgive and forget things that change your life's path in almost every way? People come in and out of our lives all the time. My dear friend, Nicole and I had a conversation about this very topic last night. We decided we are entirely changed girls from the ones we were 3 years ago. With that being said, we could not decide if that was a good or bad thing. Why are we so afraid of change? Most of the emails I discovered were ones going to people who used to be huge parts of my life. Sadly, all of those people are no longer speaking to me for various reasons, be it break up, break down, or change. There's that word again - change...
