Monday, June 21, 2010

Random Fear.

A poem that I wrote is being published by a large arts journal called The Peninsula Pulse, based out of Door County. When I found out, I was incredibly ecstatic, as you can imagine. This arts journal has a circulation rate of 20,000 copies per month, and my little poem is going to be published in it for people to read. How could I not be thrilled? At least, that was my inital reaction. The more I think about it, the more I begin to be scared/worried. What if people don't like it? Better yet, what if people hate it? Or worse, insecurity comes into play here - what if this is the only good poem I'll ever write? I'm so afraid that I can't live up to the "amazing poem" that I wrote in a moment of complete and utter despair several months ago. Will I have to let myself fall back down into a pit of anguish and depression to write another award-winning poem? Is everything I write after this going to dull in comparison to this one thing that I was able to pull from the guts of my bitter hate for my past?

God, I hope not. I really hope not.

In other news, I am so horribly pissed off at Cellcom. My phone is basically junk. It turns off all the time, and as of this morning, it decided to be super quiet. I can barely hear the people speaking on the other end of the line. So I've been trying desperately to buy a new phone. Unfortunately I get my cell through my dad's business so I have to go through his agent to buy a new one. Her name is Sally - or Silly Sally as my dad refers to her. So after a while of back and forth with my dad about which phone would work best, I called Silly Sally about two weeks ago to get her direct opinion. She's a cell phone agent, she would know, right? Wrong. She tells me that my best bet would be a Blackberry (no, thanks) or the HTC Hero (a comparison to the iTouch). I told my dad, "HTC Hero, stat!" So he goes back to his business peeps and asks them to buy me the HTC Hero through Silly Sally asap. Silly Sally tells the business peeps, "That is a really suck phone. I won't sell her it." WHAT? Didn't you just tell me that it was one of my better options less than two weeks ago, Silly Sally? I can see why you're so Silly. Your job is a total sham of selling people stupid lies and false hopes. UGH!

That's the phone rant of today. Hopefully airing it out on the blog here will help me let it go and have a good day today. It's beautiful out and I have lots of errands to run, not to mention dinner with two of my oldest friends, Laurie and Josh, then a hair cut! OH goodness.... maybe a haircut in my fragile state isn't such a good idea... Oh well!

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